2/20/2012

Garlyns update

Well we went to see Dr Reinhart today, Mom and I did.. I didnt see Dr. Reinhart, his other partner a sweet lady Dr Geer I think was her name.. but she was nice and was just as good. She was good one, because right off she showed/let me hear the heart beat.. to ease my mind.. no matter how many times that heart beat never sounds so calming to my ears...

She began to measure the hemorrhage from my ER trip yesterday we knew the hemorrhage was moving and taking a different form. But i didnt know exactly what that meant. Today she said the same thing.. the hemorrhage is still very much there. Its just changing due to many variables that play a part in this pregnancy. Such as the babys growth, which is right on point. He is so healthy and he is very active! Once again, every person who does my sonos laughs because he always seems to make this horrible situation a little easier.. He is hard headed like his oldest brother and a thumb sucker like his older brother.

So nothing is worse but its not better.. it has moved closer to my cervix which means gravity could help and it could cause the hemorrhage to pass.. She did tell me that there was no new bleeding into the hemorrhage. So all the blood and clots she could see were old.. Everything is still attached.. So He is getting everything he needs from me.

We are at the same point.. I was hoping two weeks would be long enough for it to start healing and absorbing.. but my blessing today is that it doesnt seem to be bigger so it is healing. Its just going to take time.. Im still on bed rest/extremely light duty and will see Dr Reinhart in two weeks and this time Kirk will be able to come as well. I was finally able to schedule an appointment for him to be able to make after he gets off work!

Please continue to pray for us.. God is going to see us through this.. whether im on bed rest the entire pregnancy or this passes before then. Garlyn and I are gunna fight like hell to make sure he is safe. Kirk and I have talked over and over about how we have very strong children. They are fighters and I believe this baby boy is going to fight. He has two brothers who know who he is.. They see his sono and know thats "Baby" and thats warms my heart.

What exactly are we praying for??

As I sit here and wonder what in the world is going on in my body.. I began to realize that most of you have NO idea what you are praying for... a hemorrhage or blood clot as some of you may know it as but still what exactly does that mean? I for one didn't know, Dr Perguini urged me to stay away from Google.. "Nothing is good on there and they always tell you the worse case" So I have until tonight... just because i wanted to find out EXACTLY what it was.. just the definition.

Where you see the red circle is the hemorrhage.. it makes a "V" shape.. compared to my last sono before we saw how big it was at the ER this is larger by a long shot. I dont have pictures to compare it to.. Wish i did.. I learned by my investagation that it has many names to what exactly this "thing" is called.. here is the most clear defination that I could find.

"SCH or Subchorionic Hematoma is a gathering of blood between the membranes of the placenta and the uterus. A more technical name is the chorion. Some doctors will also just refer to it as a blood clot."

That my friends is what we are praying for that God takes from my body.. I believe in miracles happening slowly and in God timing. I believe in medicine.. but this is beyond medicine.. There is nothing that my Dr can to do make this "disappear." Its truly up to my body and to God, and most of all I believe its up to God. So when you pray for Garlyn and I.. Pray God takes this blood clot away, and that He lets me carry this baby for as long as possible and hopefully that is to atleast where Baby Garlyn can be delivered and taken care of. Even if that means months and months in the NICU!

I have sat aside my heartache and started focusing on what exactly is at hand.. Its to make sure Garlyn and I are safe, the boys at home taken care of *Which we have found someone to come over to the house and stay with them while Kirk is at work* and let Kirk do what he does best, take care of everything.. He truly is my rock that God has sent me. Without him I think I wouldve already broken all to pieces and never put myself back together!

Garlyn Nathaniel Trace Stewart

I have asked so many prayers for this little guy and me that I feel like I need to share exactly why we are asking for the prayers and why I myself need the prayers..

Ive always had a "normal" pregnancy both might of been very sudden and unplanned in our minds but they were Gods plan so we never EVER have looked back.. The same with our sweet baby Garlyn. I was shocked to find out that we were pregnant.. everyone we knew was popping up pregnant! I told Kirk wouldnt it be hilarious!! Well, BOY I ate those words!! Almost two years to the day we found out we would be blessed for the 3rd time.. I begin to wish and hope it was a girl.. I love my boys but a girl would make us "complete" or so I thought! I went to visit my obgyn of course who was just as excited to see me as I was her! HA! Everything checked out fine.. Babys heart beat was there everything was doing just fine..

THE BIG 10 WEEKS~ is when all changed! I was starting to have some "cramping" at the time I thought I was just constipated. (TMI; I know) I ended up starting to bleed.. not alot but enough to scare the you know what outta me.. I called the ob that was on call.. of course since I was still so very early she threw the word I didnt want to hear "miscarry" I finally pulled myself together and went to the ER. We found out then that I had a subchronic hemorrhage.. I was told this was the most common abnormality that pregnant women seemed to run into.. At the time I was told to take it easy and it would probably go away but to check in with my ob...Of course when I go to see Dr P, she had the very straight forward facts.. to which is why I love her! She never sugarcoats anything for me.. She gave me this 1 and 3 chance of miscarrying.. Let me tell you, I went into this "mode" I heard "take it easy and miscarry" I went home and had a heart to heart with God.. (to which I have done ALOT lately) then Jesus had one right back with me.. No, he didnt talk to me.. I knew exactly what he would say just like my Mom ALWAYS tells me "Dont worry until you have a reason" What more of a reason do I have???? My child that I am carrying might not make it.. I finally had a sense of peace.. Peace that God would help me make it through, and that I would care for this baby until I had a reason not to. Two weeks passed, i had another sono... It was the big day of my Jack or Jill blood test.. the sono lady swore it was a girl... but from the looks of everything it looked like the hemorrhage was trying to head towards my cervix to "pass or absorb" and was thinning out.. Dr P just told me to take it easy and that I would be fine.. or so we thought...

On Friday at exactly 6:45pm, I instantly felt pain the pain I had felt when they told me they were contractions. The pain that I was told would be unbareable the in my mind "miscarry" pain.. I thought if I could walk around it would slowly ease up.. I was wrong.. I ended up on the floor...rolling on the ground screaming at Kirk telling him this wasnt okay.. I got up and went to the bathroom, Mom came in and seemed to calm me down enough.. Enough that I could send Kirk off to the dinner plans we had made.. Mom hauled me into my old bedroom a place that was "home" the bed I slept in growing up.. My safehaven that I had all my life.. I curled in a ball and just cried.. the pain was unbareable.. after the pain started bleeding.. and I screamed the loudest scream to Mom.. I was horrified.. was I actually miscarrying?? Was this it? Had all the fighting with God, Satan and myself ended like this? You see in my "chats with God" I told him I would fight for all Garlyn with all I had... but IF it was His will that He take my sweet blessing He do it soon.. I couldnt handle it.. I was selfish I know, but in my darkest hour when my world is quiet, I talk to Garlyn.. and I pray.. VERY hard.. He is a person.. He is my son. and I will never stop fighting nor loving him.. Till 9pm, I would curl up in a ball having contractions and continue to bleed.. I finally got the nerve to text a nurse who I knew could tell me if I was miscarrying or if it was just the hemorrhage bleeding out.. She told me to call the Dr and head to the ER. I called and as soon as I told him what was happening "Get her now, Ill tell ER you are coming" By this time I had gathered myself.. Kirk and I had seen so many "is this it, are we losing the baby" moments that I was numb by then I just told him we needed to go.. and now..

On the way to the ER we battled the weather, but it never bothered our conversation.. Kirk and I had agreed that this was the last baby we would have. This will be 3 babies I will have carried in 4 years. Garlyn wasnt planned.. But after the pain and heartache we decided three was enough.. God has blessed us with two wonderful boys.. and now a 3rd.. and with Garlyn my family is complete.

We got to the ER, of course you arent allowed in the Labor and Delivery ER until 20 weeks, so we sat with all kinds of people with all kinds of problems.. I could only catch myself thinking "What the hell is taking so long??" After what seemed like hours, which was maybe an hour.. We got back.. Dr came in ordered sono and pain meds because he could see the pain and fear in my eyes.. "We will get you back very soon" that ended up being two hours later.. BUT God was with us.. we had a sono lady who told us everything she was doing.. what she was measuring and that the baby had a very STRONG heartbeat.. But this sono lasted an hour.. Im talking she measured everything.. But the hemorrhage had gotten bigger.. enough that looking on the screen to a "normal non medical eye" quite a bit larger.. She kept us so busy with what Garlyn was doing I never thought more about the hemorrhage.. I knew he was okay thats all that mattered.. The Dr came in told me I was on complete bed rest and pelvic rest... gave me meds for the pain and sent me home to check up with Dr P on Monday.

My mom and sister were my lifesavers this past weekend.. not once did they complain nor give any reason they couldnt watch the boys.. Emalie took morning duty and Mom took afternoon.. It was so comforting to know the boys were right up the road even though my bed was where I had to stay.

Today I went to see Dr P, Mom tagged along for the 1st time this pregnancy and Im thankful this go around she did. She is the business lady.. She gets her facts puts no emotion in there and keeps on going.. I wish i was more like her in times like this.. needless to say she got Dr P to explain the hemorrhage more to me.. explain "This is like a balloon....and so on" I felt stupid but i understood. Dr P was worried that the placenta was pulling apart.. which if you know anything about babies the placenta is the babys lungs.. without it the baby dies.. She personally called Dr Reinharts office to get me an appointment.. Today at 3 I went to see the man who did all my sonograms with my boys.. someone I trusted with all my heart to tell me what was exactly going on.. He took care of my baby sister when Mom had Annalie, warned me Ralyn was a big baby, and told me Nolyn needed to come C-section because I was too little.. He has never been wrong.. I trust him.. i cant say that enough..

Mom took off again to go with me.. I was scared.. I had fallen apart before I went.. so many "What ifs".. you see with my life history I sadly always "What if" everything.. I went into the office.. Calm. I had settled myself down, I actually got to see Kirk who hugged me and told me "No matter what he tells you I love you and Garlyn" I had that peace again. We got in the room.. Dr Reinhart so calmly came in.. asked me a few questions and got to measuring the baby.. I knew everything he measured.. I knew every part that he would measure.. then to the hemorrhage. I knew it was big, i had seen it before. but there is something about a "blood clot" that isnt normal and its not normal to been seen by your baby boy.. Mom of course asked "What about the placenta is it attached?" And Praise be to God, with all your prayers IT IS!!! He couldnt see any sign that it was detached.. He of course said "I need your life to be boring" and that he wanted to see me every two weeks until it was gone..

We are not outta the woods, I really dont think we are until its gone.. Baby Garlyn is as healthy as can be.. they havent found a single thing wrong with him.. Please continue to pray for the hemorrhage to be gone... this common abnormality isnt as common as we thought.. I pray you lift me in prayers as you pray for Garlyn.. As much as I am holding it all together, Im a basketcase inside.. I have so many fears.. so many "What ifs" and muchless to be told that you must stay in a bed and not be that "stay at home mom" for my two oldest hurts... but I know its whats best to get their sweet baby brother here in this world safely.

With all that Kirk and I we thank you for your prayers, your concerns and the many of you who truly care.. We love you all very much.. For this is a bump in our path that the Heavenly Father has placed to teach and show us His ways...

Spring has Begun!

Well, March has started our spring activites. With Birthday, Easter, and warm weather.. We have been super busy..

About two weeks ago, we had Ralyns first birthday! Which was a blast... We had a party for Nana's house and one for Mamaw's house. The weekend was good. Family came down and over all Ralyn had a great weekend..

Ralyn has been crawling like no other~ Walking? Only with his walking toys.. We are letting him take his time.. Due to the small house we live in, but he is crawling and getting into everything..

We have been remodeling Ralyns room to get ready for Bubba Nolyn! We only have a few minor things to get done then we will be ready for him to join us! Here is Ralyn helping Aunt KK put his clothes in order for Bubba to wear them..

I havent gotten my sonogram pictures scanned yet, but i hope to have them up soon! I should be going in for a new Sono soon! I will have new baby news next week and will be excited to share it then~

My 1st post..

My first blog.. this is going to be interesting.. I love blogging. its an easy way for me to vent or be extrememly happy! The goal of this is to keep everyone up to date with Ralyn & Nolyn. Ralyn with his walking/talking adventures. Nolyn with fun news until he arrives! I also will be about Kirk and I.. New Marriage and New Babies is ALWAYS fun!! :)

Im going to go figure this out... and ill get back with ya!

N.S.